Struggling with Self-Doubt

So I haven't been very active, either online or in the workshop. Figure I should talk about it.

The first reason has been my physical health. I recently found out I have severe sleep apnea and have been working to get that under control. The CPAP is helping and I'm slowly catching up on the rest I have been deprived of for so many years, which is great.

Second, is life getting in the way. I started a new job in September, which has been a very difficult transition. I've been plagued with self-doubt and a feeling of being lost. I left a tight-knit community of peers and students to come to a new school where I feel very much on my own. This has been a huge adjustment and is still ongoing. My wife has a large martial arts exam in a week and I have one in a few months, and preparation for these has taken a lot of my free time.

The largest reason though has been my mental health. I'm pretty open about my battles with depression. I have Persistent Depressive Disorder which often manifests in feelings of self-hatred, low energy, suicidal ideation, feelings of worthlessness, etc. I am medicated, which takes care of most of the really bad symptoms (don't worry, I am safe and not going anywhere), but a lot of the feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness remain at the back (and sometimes forefront) of my mind.

My GGBO build had some issues, some that showed in the video and some that didn't. This has lead to some major criticisms from viewers and commenters, which normally I can take. Criticism is fine. But this whole build has really dealt a blow to my beliefs in myself as a builder. I have major doubts about whether or not I should even be attempting to build instruments if they don't seem to be getting any better. What's the point?

This doubt has swelled, and I haven't touched a tool since I finished my Extra Life build in July. My shop has become a disaster zone and taken over by trash, recycling, and miscellaneous storage.

I'd like to build again. I would. Will I though? I truly don't know... why bother, you know? Maybe it's better to leave it to the talented folks.

Don't know what I want from this post. Just venting, I guess.